


When the Cat’s Away, The Mice Will Play

by soulkitchen



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Play, Dildos, Gags, Klaus is in for a wild ride, M/M, Sex Toys, Vibrators, solo sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:13:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28256730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulkitchen/pseuds/soulkitchen
Summary: Dave has to go to work, so Klaus must make do.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	When the Cat’s Away, The Mice Will Play

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there :D although this isn’t my first smut, but it is my first klave centric/Klaus smut! Hope you enjoy!  
> Tumblr: autisticdavekatz

To satiate hunger is to satisfy a necessity for survival. This is the motto of all humans, especially those who actively take care of their bodies. Although previously neglected, Klaus had decided to start taking care of his body and its hungers. Of course, he started to eat only as a result of going sober and his boyfriend, Dave, coming to 2019 with him. Then, came the next part, then the next. After nourishment was sleep, then mental health, so on and so forth.

Of course, sex is on the long, normally monotonous and mundane list of human needs and desires. It wasn’t a life or death thing, but for Klaus it was nice to have time to relieve stress and experience the innermost human pleasure: carnal desire for your lover. Dave and Klaus had plenty of sex, maybe more than the average person, but Klaus was also into more kinky shit than the normal person.

However, some days were harder to get sex than others. 

For example, Dave had to go to work everyday. He couldn’t just get paid not going to work in the art studio he opened up with the help of a friend and coworker of his. At least, he did in Klaus’ wildest dreams. But Dave wouldn’t have it any other way. A home, a job, and someone to love. What more could someone want than to be happy?

“I’ll see you at six tonight, Sugar,” declared Dave, the southern drawl of his native Texan accent prevalent in one of hundreds of nicknames he gave to Klaus. It was precious, really. Dave pressed a kiss to Klaus’ forehead, then one to his lips. “I’ll make sure to call you on my breaks, okay? Don’t have too much fun without me,” Dave said, a bright and happy look on his face. Oh, how he loved Klaus.

Klaus gave his boyfriend the exact same look of love; it was much like the look they exchanged that fateful night in a Saigon club in 1968 Vietnam, drunk and high off adrenaline. However this time it was sober and high off the love and affection they gave each other.

With another kiss, Klaus replied, “Will do, sergeant. I’ll make sure to have dinner ready by then. I’ll see you later, Davey.” One last embrace and kiss were exchanged before Dave took his keys off the peg by the door and walked out the apartment.

Not even two minutes after locking the front door and its deadbolt, Klaus ran to the bedroom, locking its door as well. Fuck, he was waiting for this. He asked Dave for a quickie this morning, something to get Klaus off, but Dave said no, that he needed to get ready for work. At least he promised sex when he got home, though. Just not now.

Klaus pushed the memory from only a few hours ago out of his mind, excited to try out some toys, maybe pretend he was being used by his boyfriend and a group of his coworkers and friends.

Being passed around and used was a conversation for later. Right now, Klaus was an enby on a fucking mission.

Klaus removed his pajamas, shimmying out of the silk sleep shorts and one of the many, many stolen t-shirts that once belonged to Dave at one point. He would get them back on occasion, if Klaus permitted it.

The clothing was discarded on the floor as Klaus took out a plastic bin from under the bed, then threw it on top of the unmade covers. It wasn’t the tidiest room, sure, but it was only because Klaus slept in this morning. He’d had to wash sheets after this, anyway, so it wasn’t like it mattered anyways. At least Dave didn’t give much of a shit about made beds and picture perfect living. Maybe all those years in a war made you appreciate things even if they sucked.

Whatever.

The top of the container was popped off, and tossed onto the bed next to it. There was a conglomeration of things, and it was evident that it hadn’t been organized in forever. At some point there had been places in special boxes: area for vibrators, plugs, dildos, etc. at least the insertion and contact only toys were separate, even if they were regularly cleaned and disinfected/sanitized before and after use. But it’s evident that organization was no longer neither a priority, nor wanted when someone gets hot and horny.

From the box Klaus withdrew a pretty blue, sparkly dildo. This was the most special toy in existence. Why? It was a direct mold and cast of Dave’s dick. One of a kind, and Klaus himself picked out the color and design himself. It was in character for him to usually choose pink or green, but for once he indulged in Dave’s favorite, and picked a rather nice bright teal, complete with confetti flecks, glitter, and flared base.

Klaus dropped it down on the bed, then removed a vibrator, and the special cuff attachment he begged and pleaded Dave for weeks to custom make. What’s a handyman and crafty boyfriend if you can’t ask him to make you sex toy enhancements? The lid was popped back onto the container, and Klaus hopped off the bed to put it down by the bed. There’s no use in it being put away if it would be used again in about half an hour. 

As he was down there, Klaus pulled out the special, all natural, “food safe” cleaner he and Dave made to spray and wipe down the toys, so Klaus could insert still and not contract a fucking chemical burn. Although he did that, Klaus still grabbed a condom next to the gag.

The next few minutes blurred by, wiping down and rolling condoms on, strapping the gag in, lubing his hole, plugging the vibrator in, etc. It was all clockwork and normal, so Klaus went onto autopilot when he did those things.

It was only when he finally sunk down onto the lifelike toy did Klaus snap out of it. Fuck, the familiar feeling and stretch was almost a comfort. No, it absolutely was. Before Klaus could continue, though, he slid the sleeve onto his cock, attached it to the vibrator, and cranked that baby up. This was what heaven on earth felt like. Well, it was only second to the real deal David Joseph Katz and his dick.

Klaus began bouncing up and down, the angle he was at pressing into all of the right spots. Although he staved off an orgasm for a while now, Klaus vehemently rode the toy, one hand bracing the bed, the other holding the vibrator so it didn’t slide off easily.

Normally Klaus would last what felt like hours, but it was really half an hour. However today was different. Klaus had been waiting so so damn long, that it felt nearly impossible for him to last more than ten minutes.

Although he couldn’t speak or make much noise beyond moans and wordless shouts, Klaus made a moan that, if you listened closely, you would swear it sounded like “Dave!” as he shrunk into himself, and finished on the bed. 

After a few minutes of dazed, post coital bliss, Klaus lifted himself off of the toy, slid the vibrator off, unbuckled the gag, and pulled a tissue out of the box from the nightstand. He wiped himself down before laying down to catch his breath. Although this wasn’t a heavy and hard orgasm, much like the ones he had with Dave, Klaus was just a bit winded. Maybe it was the vibrator and dildo combo? Maybe.

Klaus laid in the still unmade bed, gazing at the plastic glow in the dark moons, stars, and planets they’d put up on the ceiling when they first moved in here. A smile dragged across his lips as he slowly regained energy.

It was only for a minute that he forgot he was all gross and sticky, and his hole was coated in lube. Yuck.

With that, Klaus got up and hobbled into the shower, where he sat on the ledge Dave built for aftercare and moments like now, so Klaus didn’t exert himself too much when he wanted to shower solo, or when Dave wanted to wash Klaus after a brutal scene.

The water ran down his springy, dark curls, and traveled to his neck and back. Once he was fully soaked in water, Klaus began the ritual of cleaning, making sure to take extra around his crotch. Although ten minutes had passed, he was still sensitive to touch. That wouldn’t go anywhere for a while.

After he had finished showering, Klaus retrieved the silk shirts and stolen sleep t-shirt from the floor, threw them back on, and got to work on cleaning up the mess he made.

First, he cleaned off the toys, and disinfected them, then went on to strip the bed and get ready to do laundry.

At least Dave would come home to clean sheets.


End file.
